Many people struggle with low self-esteem. The constant fear of not being good enough can keep us stuck in a negative cycle. If this is you, changing your mindset could help.
What is a mindset?
Our mindset is a set of core assumptions we have about ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs affect what we pay attention to and how we behave in any given circumstance. There are many different mindsets, each of which can either help or hinder our ability to navigate life’s challenges and to achieve goals.
Growth versus fixed mindset
Psychologist Carol Dweck identified two main ways of thinking about intelligence: the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset. The fixed mindset is based on the belief that our skills and abilities are inborn traits that we’re unable to change.
People who have this perspective tend to:
- refrain from hard work;
- avoid challenges;
- and give up in the face of obstacles.
Conversely, the growth mindset assumes that our intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and learning.
People in the growth mindset, tend to:
- persist in the face of challenges;
- view mistakes and obstacles as learning opportunities;
- bounce back following adversity;
- be goal-orientated and creative;
- embrace challenges and new experiences;
- and experience higher self-esteem and wellbeing.
Dweck’s research suggests that most of us sit on a scale somewhere in-between a fixed and a growth mindset. While we may favour one way of thinking over the other, we can switch between the two perspectives, depending on the situation. For example, you might embrace new challenges (growth mindset) but quickly give up when setbacks occur (fixed mindset).
Strategies for adopting a growth mindset
Having a growth mindset helps us to be happier and more empowered. But don’t worry if you currently identify more with a fixed outlook, as mindsets can be changed. Here are seven ways you can start developing a growth mindset and become more confident.
1. Overcome limiting beliefs
Most of us have limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world. Growing up, I was convinced that I wasn’t good at talking to strangers, especially in large groups. This belief became a self-fulfilling prophecy because my mind would freeze in social situations.
Despite this, I joined meet-up groups and also ran my own group for a couple of years. Gradually, I learned to challenge my inner critic and gained confidence. Once you’re aware of your limiting beliefs, you can take steps to overcome them.
2. Stop all-or-nothing thinking
This type of thinking involves seeing things in 2 extremes with no grey areas. For example, you might believe that if you’re not successful at something, you must be a failure. Many people experience this type of thinking, especially if they have anxiety or depression. Viewing yourself through this lens, can be damaging to your confidence and self-esteem. Furthermore, when we’re stuck in this thought pattern, it’s hard to see possibilities and find solutions.
To shift this type of thinking, firstly it’s important to recognise it. One sign is that you frequently use absolute words like “should”, “shouldn’t”, “never” or “always”. Another indication is that you tend to see a situation as really good or really bad. If you notice you’re-engaging in black-or-white thinking, try looking for a more balanced interpretation.
3. Use the word “yet”
Some people have goals but give up at the first hurdle. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, add the word “yet” to the end of the phrase. This reminds you that skill usually takes time and effort to master.
4. Reframe failures as learning opportunities
We all experience failures in life. How you view them influences whether you stick to your goals and take risks, or give up and avoid challenging situations. Try viewing mistakes as opportunities to improve your skills, discover new strategies and develop resilience.
5. Take action
Sometimes you might put off goals because you’re afraid of failing. But if you never give it a go, you deny yourself the opportunity to succeed. Often the best way to build confidence is by taking action.
6. Set small goals
While it’s great to have big dreams in life, they can often seem overwhelming and unobtainable. Developing small, actionable goals helps to reduce procrastination and builds self-trust. It also usually improves focus and productivity.
7. Keep an achievement journal
Writing down your achievements, no matter how small, can be another good way to build your self-confidence. Whether you do it every day or once a week, this journaling practice helps to train your brain to focus on your accomplishments rather than your perceived weaknesses. It’s also a good way to keep track of your progress.
Building self-confidence usually takes time. Paying attention to your thoughts and viewing your challenges as opportunities to learn can be a great place to start.
As Henry Ford once said: “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right”.
If you would like help with improving your self-confidence, feel free to get in touch for a chat on 0426 365 535 or click here to book an appointment.